Death and memory loss
The loss of a loved one is tough. Losing the memories you shared with them is beyond cruel.
When my best friend was killed in a motorcycle accident, I resigned myself to the fact that I would never see him again. We would never speak or laugh together as we had done for more than 30 years; that someone that had been a constant presence my entire adult life was not there any longer.
I still miss him and I think of him almost every day. But I have slowly grown accustomed to the fact that he is not going to burst through the door and shake the windows with his booming voice and his deafening laugh.
The part I am struggling with now is that, when he passed, he took our shared memories with him.
Together, we would tell tale of growing up together and our various scrapes and escapades along the way. Those tales were always better when told by the pair of us in tandem, each finishing the sentences of the other, filling in important details, gilding the lily and embellishing each twist and turn for maximum entertainment.
Those stories are now skewed, less funny, and less entertaining because they come from a single perspective.
With each passing year, I am sure that the gaps in my recollections will grow wider. The only person capable of plugging those gaps was the only person that shared the experience. And that person is no longer here.
The day he died, it was as if someone had collected all of our shared memories and packed them all into a box, never to be opened again.
I am 58 years old now and I realise that I now have more life behind me than I do ahead. I also realise that many of the memories that I amassed along my journey through life are now packed away. I still dig them out from time to time; but they no longer shine the way they once did.
I enjoy listening to Paul Simon singing Bridge Over Troubled Water. But, even though he wrote it, he can never elevate it to the heights that he achieved in harmony with Art Garfunkel.
My memories are like that. They’re OK as a monologue. But they were so much better delivered by a duo.
